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What About the Children? Children of Divorce.

Children of divorce are profoundly affected when their parents are in conflict. They are dependent on parents for well-being and survival and are helpless to resolve any of their issues. They often feel responsible for the divorce. It is true that children are resilient, and we often hear, “Don’t worry about the kids; they’ll bounce back.”

When parents get separated or divorced, most of the child’s world is turned upside down. They have to contend with going between the two parents’ homes. They often have to change schools. In one home they have their pet. One parent is more permissive or tolerant. Often children get emotionally neglected or pushed aside as a result of the parents’ emotional turmoil.

Both parents are typically unstable for a period of time as they adjust to their new life. Often parents underestimate how much time healing takes and begin dating very soon after the divorce. And the children are quickly introduced to their new “friend.” More complicated is when the parents have “sleepovers”- while the children are in the home.

Very frequently one or both of the parents will criticize or judge the other to the children. To belittle, criticize, gossip about, or malign your “ex” is extremely upsetting for the children. Unfortunately, some parents persist in making comments that are destructive to the parent/child relationship. Not only does it erode a sense of trust and security that children need, it also leads to anxiety, depression, and often medical problems develop.

If even one parent is able to regain their emotional footing, some essential stability can be set in place for the children. We teach the 10 Week Rebuilding Series to help adults deal with a relationship ending in order to help with the healing process which is necessary for moving on with their lives.

Children of Divorce

Although not everyone has children, we are all affected when the children suffer.

The 10 Week Rebuilding Series is designed to help all adults who are dealing with the end of their relationship. Our goal is to “get you back on their feet” as quickly as possible. Over the last 30 years, tens of thousands of people have participated in the classes and have gained the insights, awareness, and support needed to be able to move ahead in ways that just going to therapy could not. Unfortunately, most people cannot afford therapy, which is what’s recommended for help with some of the deeper issues to further help with moving forward.  Our seminar is affordable and arguably the best way to move past denial and avoid getting stuck in the victim stage.

There is hope. There is support. And there is a way through the pain! Join us and begin Rebuilding today. Registration is Open.

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Participating in the 10-Week Rebuilding Program

Should I participate in the 10-week Rebuilding program? This is a question we hear from people going through the challenges of a relationship ending. Many wonder when the right time is to begin healing and participating in the 10-week program.

It’s never too early to begin rebuilding your life. Starting over is challenging in so many ways and by committing to Rebuilding your life step-by-step, you’ll find it’s likely that you won’t struggle for long.

Unfortunately, most people stop their process before it even starts.

It isn’t easy to allow ourselves to feel our emotions, so most people try to numb them away. Instead of reaching out for support, they prolong their suffering and remain locked in a “holding  pattern.”  As a result, they get stuck in anger, resentment, grief, loneliness, depression and a perpetual state of being the victim.

If we are physically injured, we would immediately seek medical care. Going through the loss of a relationship is arguably more profound and painful than most physical injuries. It requires a lot of support, adjustment and information. We had an identity as being married or having a partner and now we need to go through a prolonged period to “re-identify” ourselves.

I’ve have had some group members begin our 10-week Rebuilding program within days of their relationship ending; others have waited until the pain of coping on their own was just t0o much to deal with. Wherever you are in your journey, by the end of 10 weeks, with the support and encouragement of facilitators, volunteers and class members, everyone who attends does a great deal of healing. You’ll regain your sense of humor and optimism and you’ll develop a new sense of stability.

When there is a significant wound, physical or emotional, the time to begin the healing process is now. The Rebuilding program will help you heal.

Consider taking our complimentary self-test to discover where you are on the path to emotional healing and well-being.

Please call me, Nick Meima, at any time, to talk about where you are on your path. I’d really like to help ease your transition.